Sunday, 30 September 2012

Why is it so Skinny?!

When you put a horse up for sale, it's always a bonus that it doesn't look like a hatrack. These horses have both been breeding- but having a foal is no reason for them to be so thin. Yes it takes it out of them- that's why you UP THEIR FEED!!

The ad has gone for this mare, but here she is looking poor and bony with her foal at foot at Dragon Driving.

And then we have this poor soul. Her temperament is said to be very quiet. Not surprising, look at her prominent spine and hips- the shot disguises her flanks but I can pretty much guarantee if you could see those you could count her ribs. She probably wouldn't have the energy to argue with anything, she's using it all just hanging in there.

Fingers crossed both mares find a home where they actually get a decent meal once in a while.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Pony is a Four Letter Word!

I've heard it said before- here's a seller who clearly believes it!

This ad is almost legendary and this record of it is brought to you by Farmlife, enjoy!!

Used purple pony halter – $600
I have a used bright purple pony halter for sale. Adjustable and in fairly good condition.
A pony will be included with the halter. I currently call this pony “Juicy” although he goes by many other names as well, depending on my mood and his behavior.
This pony is just waiting to become someone’s little dream pony.
This 12.2 hand, 7 yr old pony is fantastic, if you are into the type of equine that is is constantly invading your space/vehicle, etc.
He believes he needs to be everywhere you need to be, especially when food is present.
He is in great shape, if you consider round a shape.
He never met a horse trailer he didn’t like and climbs in them every chance he gets, whereupon he immediately puts his feet up on the manger so he can look out the window. He made it halfway in the back of my car the other day before I noticed and sped off.
He LOVES little kids, especially little kids with treats. He will eat them. (the kids, not the treats) Just kidding.
This pony has been worked over 2’6″ jumps and lunged over 3’3″ jumps. However, he likes jumping my 4 ft. pasture gates the best.
He could absolutely be someone (else’s) dream pony.
He’s very affectionate, both with people(especially women) and horses(especially mares). This little guy is the neighborhood gigolo. By affectionate, I mean he will have no issue invading your personal space/private parts, if you know what I mean. He sticks his nose wherever he wants. With mares, he is lucky he is quick because he will mount mares, even the ones who have “a headache.” He is not at all discriminating, although I’ve noticed he likes the fuller figured gals. His absolute favorite is mounting a mare while a woman is on the mare. Ask my friend Lisa, I’m sure she considered that a good time.
And when rejected? You can see that he is clearly thinking that the female is merely playing hard to get. This just makes him more determined.
This porky little guy very much thinks that he’s got what the ladies want, even if they don’t know it yet. He reminds me of the little guy at the bar who hits on everybody, whom you practically have to blow an air horn in his face to get rid of.
This pony has been on television, which probably adds to his ego trip.
He could be the perfect little dream pony(for someone else).
He walks/trots/canters/jumps, takes trips to the mailbox and to check the waters, goes trail riding, swims, poses on stripper poles(ask me), tests your trailer floor weight limits, tests your trailer emergency walk through doors, taste tests anything and everything, steals food from blind horses, tried to mount my dog(it is a big dog), stands tied patiently to the swing set while my son swings, loves to roll in the sand box, allows little kids to mount him from lawn chairs, buckets, swingsets, clubhouses, ladders, gates, side of the trailer and anywhere else, pulls little kids on sleds in the snow, tries to decapitate adults by running them under arena railings, and so much more.
Did I mention that he could be the perfect little dream pony(for someone else)?
“Juicy” is also a fantastic workout companion. I think I’ve lost at least 15 lbs since I’ve had him. I’ve never run so much in my life, either after him or from him. Though his little flabby butt cheeks closely resemble two pigs fighting under a blanket, he got me in wonderful shape.
I firmly believe he’s a dream pony (someone’s else’s dream, that is).
Call me if you want a used purple halter and are a glutton for punishment.

 Hmm, I am pretty sure I've seen a picture of that pony somewhere before...

 Citizen Horse

Friday, 21 September 2012

I've Heard of the Headless Horseman...

But here's the headless horse!!

I can't believe the poor filly has been decapitated in both shots!!

Two for the price of one today- had to share this one as it made me smile! The content itself is not that bad actually, for Dragon Driving, but the piccies... bless her!

Ride and Drive Filly - New
Rising 4 years old ride and drive mare. 100% in every way you can think of. Was broken as a 2 year old then turned away to mature. A natural honest mare for her age. She's been back in work now for 2 weeks and going really nicely with a bit of action.
Will stand all day at traffic lights and loves doing her job. This filly is really well bred, she is out of a decent black and white stepping mare and the Curnal who was out of the original Hair to Spair stallion. Some great breeding here for a bargain price.
One not to be missed for the money. Any questions please call contact numbers available thank you
Price: £750 all offers welcome

Advert of the Day

Sorry for the disappearance all, changed broadband providers, it wasn't as smooth as I thought.

There are certain things I don't like to see in sale ads. One of those things is a horse strapped into position with numerous gadgets while the advertiser assures it works in a natural outline etc... How can you tell if every shot has the horse in draw reins or similar fastenings?!

Anyway- today's ad of the day from Dragon Driving just had me wanting to rush over and undo the fastenings on this poor mare. She looks so uncomfortable!

Hackney X Welsh 14.3hh Driving Mare - Updated
Hackney/Welsh 14.3hh driving mare, liver chestnut 8 years old. Very striking looking. nice paces. 100% in traffic.
No vices, good blacksmith & box.
For further details please call.
Price: £1,500 ono

Not only is her poor jaw under pressure but how tight is the crupper?! What purpose does this get up serve?! Only to annoy as far as I can tell. Sigh.

Saturday, 15 September 2012

You Say it Best...

... when you say nothing at all...?

Ok, so there's room to have some mystery and be a little coy in romance and dating. There's really no need for it in a horse sale ad. So why do some of them have to have so little detail?

Here's a prime example. She's four years old. I have no idea how tall she is, if she's been handled, sat on, had her feet done or seen a vet. But at least I know who her dad is...

But apparently this advertiser is not the only one to keep it brief! Here's another who thinks horse selling is best with that air of mystery....
And here we have no clue about sex, likely height, exact age or even if they've ever been touched! At least the two above had headcollars, which means someone got close enough to buckle them on at some point. But with this ad- it's take a guess!
The problem with ads like this is that anyone half way interested has to call up and ask what height, what age, what's it done, when all that basic info should be in the advert. The seller could easily be tearing their hair out after people have been ringing all week to check something like that and then hanging up as soon as they learn that the horse is not or will not make 15.2hh! So take a bit of time and stick that extra sentence in, it could save you a world of trouble!

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Newsflash- Gelding Costs Money!!

Following on from the post 'The Survivors Guide to Classified Horse Adverts' , I wanted to take one of the humorous statements and point out the truth in it- sadly there’s too much truth in many of them as I am sure you know, but let’s start with just one:

IDEAL STUD PROSPECT- Can’t afford to geld it

Here in the UK gelding can cost anything from £200 to nearly a thousand if there are any complications. At a time of recession that’s a pretty serious sum of money. Horse charities have reported finding whole herds of colts abandoned on wasteland. Dealers buy job lots of youngsters, weed out the fillies and dump the colts rather than pay out to have them gelded.

So what does an irresponsible/broke breeder do when they have a horse they want to sell but they don’t want to fork out to geld? Two options really- number one is try and convince some mug it’s fine to keep them as stallions as they are so easy to handle and number two is to convince them that they are overflowing with stallion potential.

I mean why in the name of humanity should THIS horse still be entire?!

In case you thought that was just a bad picture- think again- here are the rest:

Poor soul is a conformational trainwreck, but don't worry he's 'quite' (quiet) and easy to handle. Here's another without many physical attributes to justify keeping him as a stallion, horses like this are EVERYWHERE in this area and he's not a good example:

Here's another stallion for sale. This poor chap looks quite ribby in many of the pics. I wonder if he's been running off his weight trying to get to some mares in a neighbouring field?
And here's some creative marketing. There's absolutely no good reason for this 'so ugly it's almost cute' pony to still have balls. He could have made a great child's pet/ride as a gelding. As it is, he's being sold as a teaser- at least even the current owners realise he shouldn't actually reproduce!
Here we have a pony being sold specifically as a stallion prospect, having already reproduced several times apparently. Here's my main problem with this one- they thought a picture of him apparently rearing in someone's face was a real clincher! If you have a stallion, you need it to have basic manners and THIS is not appropriate behaviour!

His other pictures aren't the best either! Here's a similar one... no evidence of a performance record but he sure can stand on his hindlegs and pop out babies! These shots are not convincing me he's the most cooperative of animals... the guy at the end of the line looks like he's about to leap out of the way!
Here's what I would call a good stallion ad.... Cute little pony, purebred and registered, and LOOK! He actually DOES THINGS! He gets ridden and jumps fences and everything!

Bottom line? Keeping a stallion can be a real pain. You need to have somewhere with the right facilities and you need to be able to manage a strong, spirited horse and keep his mind on the job in all situations. However 'quiet' the sellers may claim these horses are, they won't stay that way with maturity- I can almost guarantee it. Factor in the cost of gelding if you are looking at a horse that still has his equipment. In the majority of cases he won't be worth your keeping them attached!

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Advert of the Day

No prizes for spotting the issues in this little ad, but there's something about its simplicity and the information provided that made me smile!

Monday, 10 September 2012

Photographing a Horse for Sale FAIL

You may have read my page on how to sell a horse, including suggestions on how to photograph the horse. It’s all common sense, I hear many of you cry! Sadly, as your mum often told you, the problem with common sense is that it’s not actually that common.

Ensure the Picture is Clear and From a Good Angle

To be fair many of these shots are one of a couple, but they really add very little to a sale effort!

Head too big to fit in one shot?

Looks sweet and might well be beautiful but you're really not showing her off to her best here (P.S. What exactly is a skewball?!):

This is just terrifying! If this is the best shot you could get of this horse, I can't see many people lining up to buy her!

Can you actually get near these two, or is this the best shot possible?

Apparently the pics don't do this one justice - nooo really?! I can't link you to the ad as it's sold- somehow, with these shots!

Clean up the horse first!

This poor soul is the wrong colour to be presented for sale without a good brush...

Only Have One Horse in the Picture

Yes they are selling the horse at the back here...

Selling a coloured mare, evenly marked- and no I don't know which one it is either! There's two shots of the same group and they are in different positions on each!

These folks are selling a black and white gelding- That could be either one of these!

Pay Attention to the Background

I do like adverts where I am not experiencing terror over what the horse might put a foot through...

Or waiting for it to strangle itself...

Wow, who'd have thought this would happen if you stood a black horse against a black background?!

And with this amount of blur, standing a bay horse against a brown background doesn't do it any favours either! Here's a suggestion- move the wood bits, use the white wall?

Make Sure People in the Shot Look Professional
I'd hide my head too if I were the person on this pony... BTW, he has a driving bit on another shot, you couldn't use that instead of the rope?

My baby backs all my horses....

Here's the part that boggles my brain- you can just see a chap's head behind the horse, and he's ducking down as if not to be seen- do you honestly think it LOOKS BETTER if it appears that no one is holding that baby?!
The two year old colt has now been sold which is why I can't link you to the ad, but apparently, this family had decided they'd keep the baby a while longer, but get rid of the toddler.... no one holding onto the child here!

Use an Appropriate Picture

Is it just me or does this look like the horse is stopping rather than jumping?! Surely if a horse is a potential showjumper you can get a better shot of it in action than this?!

Being sold as a potential competition horse but the blurry pictures don't inspire confidence- loose schooling over a jump might be better than standing there looking confused...

I am sure this horse has many good points- with forelegs like that I dispute the claim that jumping is one of them.

This horse might jump but I don't think this shot is showing her best side...

Although at least that explains why she looks so worried in this image... she's wondering if she'll still have her teeth when she lands.

Ok so I know almost all of us have got bad shots in our horse photo libraries, but here's the thing- we aren't trying to sell one!! If you're asking for money for a horse, it's good to look like you care about it a little. If you want a lot of money, you should look like you care a lot!