Advert of The Day

Wow, these two look soooo comfortable, don't they?!

This was the only photo accompanying the ad which is selling a small stallion who is being strongly promoted as a comfortable ride for long trails or riders with back problems. Here's the issue. Neither the horse or the rider look comfortable in this shot! The girls expression and her hands, and the horses face, tail and the way he is moving, suggests they are having a real difference of opinion, however momentary. BAD PHOTO TO USE!

That's not even touching on the fact it's blurry.

Finally just how comfortable can you be in what appear to be hot pants and wellies?!

Here's the rest of the ad:
MiniMe as we like to call him is a very sweet stallion he rides amazing very comfortable for someone who likes long trails or maybe has back problems. Looking to find him an amazing home to trail rideor maybe even show since he does have alot of brio and the look for it. He is a lil thin because we did rescue him from a hard situation but he is getting more beutiful by the day. come meet him he wont disappoint

call me or text

He needs to find his new home by this weekend please make an offer.

Mary

might trade for maybe a dressage mount 

Hmm, so sweet he has to be outta there in days... and of course they might trade for a dressage mount. I wouldn't hold your breath folks!

Epic Fail

If you took out all the accurate/responsible/intelligent stuff in this advert, you wouldn't have much of it left. 

Cheapest Saddlebred..... - $250

Hi, just got this horse not long ago (3months). Its a Saddlebred/Walker stud. He is too small for my boyfriend and im not into riding horses. From what I know he is a pretty good horse. No kick, bite or buck...just nred love and we having to much going on. Was purchased for $500 from a very good friend in Houston. The only problem the horse is too short. He is about 14.5 hh, we are willing to take $250 obo. Yes $250 obo for a stud thats not bad, and plus you will make your money back breeding. He has never bred before and no bad habits. Need gone by this weekend because we leaving to go out of town.Kids have ridden him,with no problem, he is more suitable for kids, women or small adults.

Has Pusher's walker in his bloodline. Not registered. Can email pics.or text 469~684~8992

1- If you're flogging a horse with the biggest positive being that it's cheap, the poor thing probably hasn't got a lot to offer. Annd that's not really accurate advertising either- read on to discover the horse is actually a saddlebred X Walker. 

2- I really hope that someone is holding that rope (so could drop it or do something about entanglement) and it's not tied to something (which the low rope makes me wonder) since he's now stepped over it and could end up giving himself a bit of a jerk/fright/serious injury. 

3- Hi, just got this horse not long ago (3months).

You've had him all of 3 months? Wouldn't it have been easier just to think harder about getting a horse at all/go evaluate the horse properly before you bought him?

4- Its a Saddlebred/Walker stud.

He's a stud. Of course he is. Cos that price, + nuts, is going to make finding a lovely new home even easier.

5- He is too small for my boyfriend and im not into riding horses. 

Yes. Yes he is. 

(Obviously I am assuming this is the BF in the picture!). 

Here's the thing. I know some very large riders who are very skilled. They ride light. This is because they know how to balance themselves to cause least convenience to the horse. If this guy was at least riding in good balance I wouldn't be cringing as much as I am. But look at the weight hanging over to the left here! The horse will find this difficult to manage. 

There are ways to assess how much weight a horse can safely carry. One of these is bone- basically the circumference of the foreleg, just below the knee. A horse with good solid thick legs at this point is generally believed to be able to carry more weight than one with a narrow leg here- check pictures of welsh cobs as opposed to thoroughbreds to see this. I wouldn't class this horse as a weight carrier from the shot above! 

Weight carrying capacity at any one time is also influenced by other things, including what you are doing with the horse- so yes, at least here they are just walking, in this shot anyway- and it's age. You wouldn't want to charge in piling excess weight on a youngster who is still getting used to just carrying a rider for example. 

On that note I am a bit concerned that this horse could be a youngster- he's either a growing colt or a very badly put together adult! His age isn't mentioned anywhere. This heavyweight riding could be doing some damage to an immature skeleton if he is the kind of age I think he may be. 

Here's the kicker. I know horses grow when they are young but only slowly! Didn't these people even go look at this horse before he came home? Why did it take 3 months to decide he was too small, did they just have him thrown in the field and only notice his size when they got close enough to catch him? 

6- From what I know he is a pretty good horse. No kick, bite or buck...

This no bite, kick, or buck seems to be the craigslist mantra for 'good horse'. I know a lot of very good horses which do occasionally buck (often when out and excited!), sometimes kick and sometimes bite (though mainly other horses!) and similarly I know some god awful horses that never do any of the above (you'd need to light a rocket behind a lot of them to get any impulsion at all, but that's another story). It'd be good to hear more about what the horse can do rather than what he doesn't do, like ride out on trails, jump a little fence, stuff like that, but nothing like that here. Or in a lot of ads where 'No kick bite buck rear etc' appears as the big selling point to be honest.  

7- just nred love and we having to much going on. 

They had too much on to even check the poor beggar was the right size in the first place so that doesn't surprise me. 

8- The only problem the horse is too short. 

Annnd again, he could have been measured before you brought him home surely? 

He is about 14.5 hh.

No he's not!! 

9- we are willing to take $250 obo. Yes $250 obo for a stud thats not bad, and plus you will make your money back breeding. 

UUUURRGH!! Brain bleach please. Does anyone see anything about this fluffy, leggy, flat backed little guy that begs to be reproduced? Seller- you are trying to offload this horse for $250- UK peeps that's about £165 at today's currency conversion rates - it probably cost more to keep the mare adequately fed and vet checked in the pregnancy that produced him than that! If you don't want a horse like this, why will enough other people anywhere to make breeding him such a good idea?! Seriously, what on earth makes you think Shorty's sperm is in demand anywhere in the entire FREAKING country? 

He has never bred before... 

Thank whatever deity oversees us that this is the case. Please someone go get him just to remove his lovespuds before he meets miss right (or miss you'll do) and gets her in the family way. 

10- Need gone by this weekend because we leaving to go out of town. 

You know what- this is one thing that irritates the heck out of me and I keep seeing on CL especially. Sellers- cos this isn't the only one by any means- at the time you place an advert you are responsible for that horse's whole future. If you don't take adequate time and care over finding someone who wants him for the right reasons, has the facilities to keep him and knows how to look after him, you're going to end up handing the leadrope to that nice guy Gus who showed up with a trailer, paid cash and has a farm out west somewhere. Gus being the smiley kill buyer who'll be only too happy to take the horse off your hands for an even more knock down price and ship him right off to become mince. In this case the horse's main fault appears to be that the current owner bought something too small. He doesn't deserve to be put at risk for that. Man up, put your damn weekend trip back if it's that disruptive and spend some time protecting the life of the animal you brought into yours. He deserves that much. Rant over.  

11- Has Pusher's walker in his bloodline. 

Somewhere. 

Not registered. 

Of course. 

Good luck Shorty! I think you may need it.

Showing the Horse off... Not So Much...

I'm not going to lie, this ad did entertain me.

14.2hh Ride and Drive Gelding - New
14.2hh 5 year old coloured gelding. Excellent to ride with excellent manners.
Good to hack out alone or in company and drives well, traffic does not phase him.
He is passported and microchipped and recently been wormed. He is now all ready to go to his new home.

So things are not GREAT in the first picture... but I'm sure we've all seen worse. The guys not got a very good position, and his attire is very questionable (THOSE wellies?!)... but it's the second shot that really makes it post-worthy...

It's a gem!

Ok, I sniggered. Sorry if that's mean, but what the h**l?! Has this rider EVER jumped? Poor pony's forward motion has been so abruptly arrested by the weight of the guy on his back that his nose is touching his chest! This is one of those cases where a nicer picture of him maybe being trotted (assuming the rider can trot of course) or even just walked on the flat would have been so much more encouraging to see.

All I'm learning from this as a potential buyer is:
1-Pony has jumped
2-If pony was jumped like this more than a few times I'd assume pony has also learned to stop rather than end up with no teeth and serious neck strain!

That's not even mentioning the handsome plastic chair jump stand and the fact that the 'poles' look like flat, rotting wood which would probably do some damage to pony or rider if either should end up on top of it and snap it.

*sigh*

Advert of the Day

Electric Annie, Yearling Filly

Electric Annie, 18 month old black and white heavy stepping filly. Excellent blood lines, mother Diamond Cutter bred, grandfather is Diesel.
Very very good forward going stepping filly, will only get better with age. Mouthed and long reined, going well ready to go into cart.
Loss of grazing forces reluctant sale

Mouthed and backed- great yes? Until you see the pictures...

Perhaps they meant DE- mouthed and DE- backed?! An 18 month old little filly, being pounded around hard roads by a guy who is not small and has the balancing ability of a tortoise with an ear infection?! How can permanent damage not be done?!

I just cringed at these shots. Especially the second one- like most normal people surely would, I took one glance and said OUCH. It boggles the mind that someone looked at it and said, yeah, that's a GREAT shot to sell her with. But someone DID!

My brain may have just exploded.

It's Nearly Halloween, How About a Horror Movie?!

This entry comes to us courtesy of the good folks over at Bad Riding- your place on the net for car crash horsemanship at its best!

Here is a sales video for a rather cute little horse- and like most true horror movies it gets scarier towards the end!

So flatwork, no the rider is not the most stylish but heck, I'm not going to throw too many stones on that one, I'm not exactly Carl Hester myself. Now just skip to about 2.16 and prepare your jaw to drop...

As I fear the video may be deleted, I have taken some stills for your viewing, er,  pleasure...

Ok seriously, you want the horse to fly over the jumps- NOT the rider! A bit more elbow flapping and I reckon she could be airborne! She appears to be throwing the (non plussed if slightly confused) horse at the jumps. Hey, here's a thought, if this is the only way you can get your horse to jump, maybe don't include that in the sale video?!

Still a cute horse. Lets just hope poor Gabriel is not yet at the point where he thinks he actually has wings with all that movement going on over his head!

Advert of the Decade...

Seriously, someone designed this cracker over at Dragon Driving just to play on all my horse selling pet hates!

 

Non professional rider slouching all over and hanging off horse's head with random tack on it that fails to show off horse at all? Check!

 

 

Horse's apparent living space full of random junk and standing on said horse for no discernable reason? Check!

Using horse as jungle gum while at the same time managing to be utterly oblivous to the multitude of stains on said horse which could easily have been brushed off and are now transferring themselves to pants? Check!

Randomly dangerous manoevre which further illustrates complete lack of safe riding gear? Check!

I never look at one of these shots without hearing a voice in my head saying ' an' this 'ere's the last shot we got of yr uncle George, right before ole Bertha got a nasty wasp sittin' on her big behind...'

Anyway, gotta be a classic.

My Eyes! My Eyes!

Those shorts have no place on a horse. Or anywhere else for that matter. Especially not with that top and those shoes. That is all.

 

Rest of ad for those interested:

 

Photographing a Horse for Sale FAIL

You may have read my page on how to sell a horse, including suggestions on how to photograph the horse. It’s all common sense, I hear many of you cry! Sadly, as your mum often told you, the problem with common sense is that it’s not actually that common.

Ensure the Picture is Clear and From a Good Angle

To be fair many of these shots are one of a couple, but they really add very little to a sale effort!

Head too big to fit in one shot?

Looks sweet and might well be beautiful but you're really not showing her off to her best here (P.S. What exactly is a skewball?!):

This is just terrifying! If this is the best shot you could get of this horse, I can't see many people lining up to buy her!

Can you actually get near these two, or is this the best shot possible?

Apparently the pics don't do this one justice - nooo really?! I can't link you to the ad as it's sold- somehow, with these shots!

Clean up the horse first!

This poor soul is the wrong colour to be presented for sale without a good brush...

This one appears to be untouched by human hand! 

This stallion would love his mane detangled- and some food maybe.

Sweet looking filly- why couldn't you knock the mud off her back?!

Wow, a 'hairey' stallion who has clearly been rolling in his own muck- there's enough of it.

Only Have One Horse in the Picture

Yes they are selling the horse at the back here...

Selling a coloured mare, evenly marked- and no I don't know which one it is either! There's two shots of the same group and they are in different positions on each!



Selling the one on the left but that piebald gets enough coverage to look like he's on the way out too...

These folks are selling a black and white gelding- That could be either one of these!

Pay Attention to the Background

I do like adverts where I am not experiencing terror over what the horse might put a foot through...

Or waiting for it to strangle itself...

This pony, given its colour and the lighting, is lost in a dark stable- couldn't you take it out for the picture?!

Wow, who'd have thought this would happen if you stood a black horse against a black background?!

And with this amount of blur, standing a bay horse against a brown background doesn't do it any favours either! Here's a suggestion- move the wood bits, use the white wall?

Make Sure People in the Shot Look Professional

I'd hide my head too if I were the person on this pony... BTW, he has a driving bit on another shot, you couldn't use that instead of the rope?

Rugby shirts and jeans are not GENERALLY riding attire....

My baby backs all my horses....

Here's the part that boggles my brain- you can just see a chap's head behind the horse, and he's ducking down as if not to be seen- do you honestly think it LOOKS BETTER if it appears that no one is holding that baby?!

The two year old colt has now been sold which is why I can't link you to the ad, but apparently, this family had decided they'd keep the baby a while longer, but get rid of the toddler.... no one holding onto the child here!

Seriously people, do you not LIKE your kids? I mean that's not a soft landing there... and no hat to protect the skull!

Lady, are you barefoot?! Don't you like having toenails?!

Use an Appropriate Picture

Is it just me or does this look like the horse is stopping rather than jumping?! Surely if a horse is a potential showjumper you can get a better shot of it in action than this?!

Being sold as a potential competition horse but the blurry pictures don't inspire confidence- loose schooling over a jump might be better than standing there looking confused...

I am sure this horse has many good points- with forelegs like that I dispute the claim that jumping is one of them.

This horse might jump but I don't think this shot is showing her best side...

Although at least that explains why she looks so worried in this image... she's wondering if she'll still have her teeth when she lands.

Ok so I know almost all of us have got bad shots in our horse photo libraries, but here's the thing- we aren't trying to sell one!! If you're asking for money for a horse, it's good to look like you care about it a little. If you want a lot of money, you should look like you care a lot!